As I watched Oprah’s show I was hoping the whole time that my mother was watching. I didn’t want to call her to tell her to watch… she’s a hoarder in denial. She becomes VERY offended if you make any inference that she hoards. My brother, sister and I are blamed constantly for not helping her. We’ve tried. We’ve cleared rooms, painted, redecorated only to find the room re-cluttered and crammed with junk the next time we visit. I cry for my mother because of what hoarding has robbed her of…. a good life. Physically her health is failing. She’s always depressed. Overwieght. I’m sure there’s mold and other environmental health hazards in her home. Until Mr. Walsh mentioned the health risks that can be involved in the homes of hoarders, I never thought that her lung problems and other health issues she suffers from were connected. I don’t like my boys to stay with grandma. And that breaks my heart. My mom is miserable, holds onto the past, won’t let go of anything. She’ll even take things out of MY trash to take home to her house if she thinks she can use it “someday.” She buys more and more junk, visiting goodwill type stores. She can’t sleep in her bed, can’t use her bathroom, can’t use any other bedroom in the house. She sleeps in a lazy boy chair in her living room. Every single room, nook and cranny is packed. My heart breaks for her and I’m angry at her, which makes me feel awful. I don’t want to become like that… that scares the hell out of me.
I watched the Oprah show yesterday and today. I called my mom both days to tell her to watch it. Both days she was out shopping when I called her. I don’t know what to do. I am so scared for my parents. I want to help them, but I don’t have a team of 100 people to come in and clean up over 30 years of stuff. I don’t even know where to start. I’ve tried telling my parents there is help out there and they aren’t the only ones like this. They are just so embarrassed that anyone would ever find out they live like this. Their grandchildren have never even been in the house-ever. They buy beautiful things all the time,only to pile them up where no one will ever see. My mother refuses to throw anything away and gets seriously angry if anyone touches her “stuff”. She has respiratory problems and I know it is the mold, dust and cat hair. They both have high blood pressure and I know the anxiety that comes with living in a mess like that can’t help. To make matters worse we live in an earthquake zone. I’m scared if there is an earthquake they won’t be able to get out. My parents are good people and don’t deserve to live like this. I just don’t know what to do-I have my own home and family to take care of now. How can I help them???
I have never submitted an online comment before but I have to tell someone about my pain. My wife and and I are in our early sixties. She has been in poor health for many years. I can deal with the health issues but her hoarding is driving a wedge between us. I guess she feels like I didn’t provide well enough for her because she acts like she never has enough. She keeps large back stocks of food items, laundry detergent, yarn(she crochets), presents for the grand kids, and all manner of misc. stuff. All four bedrooms of our house are full. Under every bed, couch, table, dresser, and in every corner is her stuff. She continually works on ‘organizing’ to make a path to get into the bedrooms. When I complain that I can’t get in to a room a room she say,’What do you need in there for anyway.’ I think a lot about moving out.
j. job said,
November 17, 2007 @ 3:11 am
As I watched Oprah’s show I was hoping the whole time that my mother was watching. I didn’t want to call her to tell her to watch… she’s a hoarder in denial. She becomes VERY offended if you make any inference that she hoards. My brother, sister and I are blamed constantly for not helping her. We’ve tried. We’ve cleared rooms, painted, redecorated only to find the room re-cluttered and crammed with junk the next time we visit. I cry for my mother because of what hoarding has robbed her of…. a good life. Physically her health is failing. She’s always depressed. Overwieght. I’m sure there’s mold and other environmental health hazards in her home. Until Mr. Walsh mentioned the health risks that can be involved in the homes of hoarders, I never thought that her lung problems and other health issues she suffers from were connected. I don’t like my boys to stay with grandma. And that breaks my heart. My mom is miserable, holds onto the past, won’t let go of anything. She’ll even take things out of MY trash to take home to her house if she thinks she can use it “someday.” She buys more and more junk, visiting goodwill type stores. She can’t sleep in her bed, can’t use her bathroom, can’t use any other bedroom in the house. She sleeps in a lazy boy chair in her living room. Every single room, nook and cranny is packed. My heart breaks for her and I’m angry at her, which makes me feel awful. I don’t want to become like that… that scares the hell out of me.
hope73 said,
November 17, 2007 @ 8:18 am
I watched the Oprah show yesterday and today. I called my mom both days to tell her to watch it. Both days she was out shopping when I called her. I don’t know what to do. I am so scared for my parents. I want to help them, but I don’t have a team of 100 people to come in and clean up over 30 years of stuff. I don’t even know where to start. I’ve tried telling my parents there is help out there and they aren’t the only ones like this. They are just so embarrassed that anyone would ever find out they live like this. Their grandchildren have never even been in the house-ever. They buy beautiful things all the time,only to pile them up where no one will ever see. My mother refuses to throw anything away and gets seriously angry if anyone touches her “stuff”. She has respiratory problems and I know it is the mold, dust and cat hair. They both have high blood pressure and I know the anxiety that comes with living in a mess like that can’t help. To make matters worse we live in an earthquake zone. I’m scared if there is an earthquake they won’t be able to get out. My parents are good people and don’t deserve to live like this. I just don’t know what to do-I have my own home and family to take care of now. How can I help them???
Jack said,
January 27, 2008 @ 3:53 pm
I have never submitted an online comment before but I have to tell someone about my pain. My wife and and I are in our early sixties. She has been in poor health for many years. I can deal with the health issues but her hoarding is driving a wedge between us. I guess she feels like I didn’t provide well enough for her because she acts like she never has enough. She keeps large back stocks of food items, laundry detergent, yarn(she crochets), presents for the grand kids, and all manner of misc. stuff. All four bedrooms of our house are full. Under every bed, couch, table, dresser, and in every corner is her stuff. She continually works on ‘organizing’ to make a path to get into the bedrooms. When I complain that I can’t get in to a room a room she say,’What do you need in there for anyway.’ I think a lot about moving out.